I Don't Have Time to Meditate
If this is you, then don't read this. I wouldn't want to make you into a liar.
What if I told you that the solution for finding the time to meditate isn't finding the time to meditate. It's changing the WAY you meditate.
You see, most of us try to DO meditation. The fact is that you can't do meditation; it's not a goal. The objective of meditation isn't to gain anything, it's to let go and release.
But that's way easier said than done.
How I Failed Miserably at Meditating
I remember the first time I went to a silent retreat - ten days of total silence. To prepare we were given a meditation.
The instructions said to hold my focus on my breath for as many seconds as I could without getting distracted. If I became distracted, write down what was on my mind and then begin again.
The idea was to remain mindful, without mind chatter, for ten minutes. Later I could look at my list and see what my biggest distraction was.
Mind distraction number one came quickly. I looked at my timer. What? That was only three seconds? Start again.The next distraction came even sooner.
Are you kidding me? I checked the timer. This ten minute exercise was clearly going to take hours.
Start again. I'm thirsty - I wrote it down. Start again. My neck hurts - I wrote it down. Start again. I think there's a spider on the ceiling. Start again. Start again. Start again. I tried this sitting with a straight spine. I tried this cross-legged. I tried this lying down. I fell asleep.
I wasn't any calmer. In fact, I was going crazy. I'm crap at this. I'm worthless. Surely this was not the intention. I was caught in the trap of trying to do meditation.
Don't Force It
I was trying to reach for something, or rather nothingness, which isn't easily attainable. Instead of watching my thoughts and allowing them, I was berating myself for having them.
Because everything that I did, which was not stillness, was a distraction from what was going on inside me. Even listening to music while doing this was a distraction.
Meditation isn't sitting still in a room, doing nothing in silence. It's in everything we do.
In essence, meditation is observation. Awareness and observation happen in everything we do in life.
I love to hike and make art and kayak and play my instruments, and all of those are not done in total silence and stillness.
In fact, if I don't "try" to do them, and allow them to happen, I get lost in the moment and that flow of being in the moment is meditation.
Distractions are Normal
The thing is, I think we want to be distracted. That's why we move our head and fidget and scratch an itch when we try to sit still. We move through most of our day without beng 100% aware of what we are doing or why.
Our actions over time become habits that we don't even think about. Meditation then becomes one of those things that we check off our list, a habit to perform.
But we don't DO meditation. It isn't a task. When it becomes something mindless you do because it's a habit, it's not going to work.
And by working,I mean leave you feeling calmer, plus all the other things we hear that meditation can do for you. And besides that, habits get boring, so we want to be distracted.
But isn't meditation suppose to be good for me? Yes, if you are doing it for the right reason. To benefit from meditation, you have to want nothing from it.
You don't do it to feel relaxed or calm. This is a desire. Desiring something puts you in the future. It denies what is right now.
And, if you force yourself to focus on the breath, or be still, you are forcing yourself to be something you are not in this moment. You become a dictator to your mind.
To truly meditate, you must allow distractions. This is the beginning of becoming aware. Meditation is fundamentally observation and awareness.
But I Still Have No Time
But, this still leaves us with the problem of having no time to practice meditation . Wasn't that the point of this blog? I got distracted.
Enter the concept of the one breath meditation. Yup, not ten, not twenty, but one. And its so powerful.
The one breath meditation comes from the Tibetan Barda Yoga (the immediate state between death and rebirth).
Just as the name implies, it only takes one breath. Each time we breathe in, we are in effect creating - a mini birth if you will. With each out breath, we create a mini death.
Just as in life, our first breath into this world was an in breath, and our last breath at death will be an out breath.
The one breath meditation mimics this entry and exit into and out of life, thus both creating and releasing.
The One Breath Meditation
Try this. Close your eyes and take one slow breath in, then exhale in one long slow breath. In the moment of that one breath, become aware of how you feel.
It can be anything: restless, itchy, hot, anxious, impatient. Pay attention to whatever is there. Then release that, and exist only and exactly in that moment. That's it. There is nothing else to attain.
It's one breath so it won't disrupt your day - or will it? Of course it will (I wouldn't have brought it up otherwise). But not in the way you might think.
This one breath allows you to become aware and then to release anything inside of you that you don't need - just for that one breath.
This drops you into an expansive state, allowing you to move forward from that one breath in a more relaxed, focused and aware state.
So, before getting out of bed, drop into that one breath. In the shower, drop into that one breath. Before you start the car - one breath.
One of the best times to do this is when you feel agitated. You missed the green light - one breath. The lady ahead of you at the post office is mailing something to every address in Nevada - one breath.
The coffee line is sooooo long, and you NEED that coffee - one breath. Some idiot took your parking space. Some kid pushed every button on the elevator - one breath.
There's No Such Thing as Bad Meditation
When you get in the practice of doing this, you are instantly anchored into the present moment.
You're practicing meditation, just like you practice yoga - we call it practice because there is no such thing as being good or bad at yoga. And, there's no such thing as being good or bad at meditation either.
We are practicing in order to cultivate a sense of stillness in ourselves where we can access a truer understanding of how we feel. And by that I mean, we can recognize patterns in our mind as they arise.
If discomfort is present how do I meet it? Do I immediately back away, do I grit my teeth and push on, or can I be with that sense of discomfort?
Practicing meditation shows that there is no end result to achieve.
One Breath Meditation
Close your eyes
Notice how you feel
Inhale mindfully - pay attention to the sensation through your nostrils and how air fills your body
Exhale mindfully - Notice the breath slowly leave your body along with any stress or tension.
Just be.
In - Out - Breathe and Be
Simply pausing to pay attention to the sensation of ONE breath entering and leaving the body can be practiced anywhere at any time.
It reduces stress, enhances focus, increases mindfulness, improves emotional regulation, and gives you more confidence. It's an instant anchor to the present moment, and isn't that the point of meditation?
Breathe in, breathe out, just be. We are called human beings after all, not human doings.
Now, before you DO anything else, you know what to do first. IN - OUT - BREATHE and BE.
And then thank yourself for taking the time to meditate.